Thursday, February 02, 2012

Em...why is the hell of PMT so underestimated?

So. Last week I really thought I might be seriously clinically depressed. Or bipolar. I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I needed something to scrape me off the floor.

I asked Nathan, do you think I'm depressed? and felt stupid and useless and awful for asking. He didn't know (of course) and asked how long I had felt like this. It felt like forever even though I knew it wasn't. I couldn't even think straight and hadn't for weeks. I was walking around with a heavy crushing sadness and couldn't do....anything really.

That night, whilst googling bipolar disorder, I wondered if it could be at all hormonal. The thought had crossed my mind before but it was far too early for PMT. Or so I thought. I found info on PMDD and just reading it was a relief. Depression? Check. Fatigue? Check. "Brain Fog" - check.

I mean, I really don't know. I can't afford to go to my GP and get a new pill - and I'd also have to find a new doc because mine is a friendly but really bad with female probs - and I can't afford to go to an acupunturist, as recommended by a friend. I've decided instead to load up on GLAs in the form of 4 Evening Primose Oil tabs per day.

Since I got my period on Sunday morning a bazillion times better.

And of course it's only NOW that I come across articles like this one on xojane (which I now read complusively 10 times a day). And I speak to three close friends who can relate.

Surprisingly, this has surprised me a lot. I felt SO alone and ashamed and idontknowwhat and now it turns out friends were feeling the same?

So, me and Silvia made a lunchtime trip to the health shop to buy ladypills - got two for the price of one!

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