Thursday, September 09, 2010

To Do

  • Wear high heels more. Comfortable ones. Yes, I know they don't really exist.
  • Get my hair trimmed regularly so it becomes thick and flowy.
  • Do this course.

Before a gig recently, my friend Maeve came right out with: Well, when are you going to sing? She was speaking directly to my very deep, constant and secret desire to sing. In front of other people. As in, like, showing off.

Mortification stations.

Well, it's not so secret ever since I sang twice on stage at school - and got BURNED. Once, I sang The Sound of Music during the production of the musical. And the other time was at the talent show. I wasn't a loud person in school at all. This was kind of a 'feel the fear and do it anyway' move. And it backfired. I was shite.

I think I can sing. But it's so very mortifying to even think that. I'm just so aware it sounds. Oh God, she really thinks she can sing. Bless her. This is going to be awkward.

It's so deeply - weirdly - personal to me.

I think I can sing. Eeek! But I can't sing in front of other people. It never sounds the same, nearly as good as when I sing on my own. And even that sounds like an embarrassing excuse. Not that anyone's listening. What am I trying to prove?

So this course is an exercise in getting over that, to be able to sing. Because I love doing it and it makes me happy and is slightly thrilling.

2 comments:

popps said...

We're listening!

Annie said...

Comfortable heels do exist, you just need something a bit chunkier.