Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Circle of Shame

Well, that's it. I have gone off the rails again.

I still haven't finished a college project. The very last deadline was tonight at 6pm. I'm going to finish it. But I don't know why because it's probably not going to be accepted. The problem is...I just don't give a FUCK about it. And I probably should.

I started running (Couch to 5k) a few weeks ago and was really enjoying it. I now haven't done it since last week. I'll have to start all over again.

I have been eating crap. Burgers. Cheese. Sugar. I've stopped drinking water. I feel braindead. I'm wasting time. I'm not reading books.

I just need to stop stopping myself.

Really don't know why I do it. Well. I do.

I know very well. And it's so ridiculously obvious to me and I sit and face it and know it and manage to run rings around it so fast that it looks like I'm inert.

Fear of failure.

There is the small chance, however, that this is all brought on by my Saturday night. I always forget about how long a pill hangover is....stupid me.


popps said...

nothing to fear but fear itself.
nice picture - what are they?

Lillie McSmith said...

Yeah, pills. You'll recover from the deep, dark depths of despair as soon as the poison is washed from your body. In the meantime, want me to DHL you some valium?