Saturday, January 02, 2010

Cabin Fever

Okay this post is going to be pretty badly written and all over the place. I'm trying to get back into it. I'm in a strange, irritable, sullen mood today but not premenstrual. I think it's the anti-climax of Christmas and New Year.

It's the January Blues. January is my least favourite month. This is why I think we should push Christmas back a month - wouldn't we really appreciate it at the end of January! I keep trying to tell people but they just think I'm joking.

Christmas was nice this year. There were no dramas, no tears or anything. Up to a couple of years ago, myself and my sister used to call it Shitmas (clever, I know). My dad would get hammered, my mum would have a nervous breakdown, we would huff and shout. Tensions were high. But my dad hasn't had a drink now for 3 years and that basically solved everything. It's really nice.

I'm kind of looking forward to resuming normal operations. All this sitting around with family is very claustrophobic. And the eating! I didn't think I was doing too badly until about 5 days ago and since then I have not stopped.

I was absolutely miserable this time last year. I was very overweight, in a job I hated, in the midst of depression and anticipating ending my relationship. I was so tense I wanted to vomit all the time. I was retching to myself all day.

Now I am much more cheery. I have lost weight, I have left my job. Okay, I don't have a job. The ending of the relationship did happen. I'm living with my parents. I'm utterly broke. I still have to pay for my college course. But I have the dole!

This January, I must concentrate on exercising and working. I need to focus in order to combat the winter depression that chases me each year. I need to go outside when it's bright and keep in mind how much better everything is.



BSH ADMIN said...

Somehow I take comfort in your january blues! It helps to know that there are others out there...

Wowsers said...

Hey BSH, check it out:

It happens to the best of us!